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May 2009
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kastrerad [userpic]

My entries in bloggs and journals often include something about how I never post. But I'm going to refrain from tha-- Oh, darn. Too late.

I'm not good writing down thoughts. I really never have been. For me it's hard to put down in writing what I think and want to say so a journal is not something I use often.

Imagine going through school without the ability to write good but have it all in your head perfectly?

Yes. It sucks.

Then again, I always drew on the lessons.
What do you use a journal for anyway? I mean, basically it's just a nicer, less childish word for diary, so am I supposed to tell ''Oh, today I bla bla bla''? Nah. I assume most use it like that. But also to put down their ponderings.
I don't ponder much. I'm too lazy? I don't want to care too much about things and such and other people and even if that makes me egoistic, selfish so to say, so be it.

See. Now I'm just rambling.
I like spaces.
In writing, that is. The enter key is my friend. 

I've had lots of problem with my creativity. I feel like I have to have a school to go to to get any motivation at all. And it's hard to get the urge to create with little space too, thus school is perfect. 
I'm actually thinking about studying. I had a conversation a few days ago about what I want to do and how I couldn't
and wouldn't cause school costs money and I do not want to take loans. I've been thinking a lot about that now. I feel squeamish though about the loan-taking. =/

And more about art; I only seem to be able to do fanart lately. It just pops up easily from my hand onto openCanvas 
and my own characters gets thrown aside for this. A big part is because I roleplay them a lot. And they're wonderful characters too.. 

Then again, all my shit is so boring and uncreative. Stupid sketches slapped on with crappy pastel colouring. =/

Still rambling, I see.

Well. If anyone reads this, I'm sorry for my spewing. That's all I can seem to write. 

Though I have a few good things to say!
Holly might hopefully be able to come next year by easter or something!
Vincent can cheer me up so easily and will probably kill me someday with cuteness. But it'll be worth it.
I'm also getting just a bit better with handling people AND the five day-course I'm attending is really interesting and fulfilling.

Oh. By the way, Vexen.

I can see your panties through that dress.

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